Since June, I’ve been on a non-stop break. It is a well deserved vacation since it has been almost 3 years since the last one, but breaks can be blackholes if you didn’t plan any phase out from them.

Now, it is the beginning of September and I seem to be stuck in the vacation, or more likely, I’ve lost the drive to go back to work.

To be fair, what I used to do before the vacation didn’t bring any sort of joy, it was mentally toxic job that only drives me more insanely by the day. I’m still in vacation because I’m no longer interested in repeating what I used to do, and I’d stay in bed all day long rather than go back to the media industry where all what we do is create bullshit and deceptive content for the mass audience.

I’ve been a graphic designer since 2015, and I’ve created plenty of work that I can’t even remember. But I do remember this: My main job is to make a shitty product or a project appealing to people, which is hugely against my personal ethics. But I pushed my ethics aside in order to make a living.

I’ve moved into multiple fields in the industry, from branding to motion graphics, hoping to find something that provides me purpose. Until this vacation that helped realize that I don’t fit in the industry itself, not the jobs I’ve worked on.

Yet, I will continue to work as a designer, because this is my trade by nature, but I choose to dismiss projects that no longer serves my values as a person, and my quality as a designer.

Onto the next

Next up, I’m redesigning my studio website, and aiming to be playful and fun by embossing creativity as a facade rather than a commercial magnet.

Also, as a designer, I’ve focused my entire career developing frontends for my costumers, back during my vacation, I’ve been learning to develop backends. I’ve been tinkering with rendering engines, code, and low-level computer languages to study what possible outputs I can come up with aside from videos and images.

So, I’m currently rebuilding my entire career as a designer, as well as kicking a new side career which is Swift development.

More updates coming soon!